Memories
by TheLestrangeMistress
Summary: Catelyn remembers happier times at Winterfell. For the 2016 got ficexchange.


**A/N: This was for the 2016 got_ficexchange fest on LJ. It was a gift for flyingharmony and beta'd by plaid_slytherin. The prompt was Dyin' Ain't So Bad by Frank Wildhorn.**

Lady Catelyn Stark sat on the edge of her childhood bed and wept.

Although she had found it incredibly hard to think of Ned since she had been told of his death, it was all Catelyn could think of now she was alone.

Alone.

That was what she would be for the rest of her days. No other man could take Ned's place even if they tried, and if Robb won the war Catelyn knew that she would have many suitors. She loved Ned with all of her heart and there was no room for any other man.

As she began to sob Catelyn thought about how she would never see his face again, never run her fingers through his hair, and never feel his touch. A part of her had died when he did and now she was living for their children. If it wasn't for them she would have given up after she had exacted her revenge on the Lannisters.

As she lay down on the bed, Catelyn closed her eyes she let memories of their time together wash over her.

 _It was their wedding night and Catelyn felt nervous about what was to come. She had heard from gossip by the maids that it hurt the first time you were bedded and it sounded terrible. She hoped that Eddard Stark would be kind and gentle during the bedding as he seemed to be out of it._

 _The next morning Catelyn realised that she needn't have feared. Although the first time had hurt a little at first, Eddard had made sure that she was all right to carry on, and had made sure that they both found their pleasure._

Over the next fortnight they lay together many times and Catelyn was surprised when she found out she was with child a few months later.

 _As Catelyn stepped out of the carriage into Winterfell's courtyard she was happy to see her lord husband waiting for her._

 _"My lady, it is good to finally see you again. Welcome to Winterfell," Eddard said pleasantly as he greeted her with an awkward hug._

 _"Thank you, my lord. I am pleased that you are safe and well," Catelyn replied._

 _A cry came from behind her and Catelyn turned to see the wet nurse comforting her son._

 _"Would you like me to present you your son, my lord?" she asked nervously as she looked over her shoulder at the squalling babe._

 _"I would be honoured, my lady, but perhaps we should do it in the warmth of my solar. I would not have either of you catch a chill," Eddard suggested._

 _"Of course, my lord. I did not think about that," Catelyn admitted, suddenly feeling chilly._

 _"Do not worry, my lady. The weather is fairer in the south, even during the height of winter, and I am sure you will get used to it over time," he replied gently._

 _She followed him into one of the various buildings until they came to a room which had a desk, some chairs, and a bookshelf. It look cosy and well used rather than some of the more ostentatious ones which she had seen that were only for show._

 _The nurse followed them in, and Catelyn held her arms out to take her son from her._

 _She was nervous as the babe looked nothing like a Stark. He was all Tully with auburn hair and bright blue eyes._

 _"Here is your son, Robb, my lord," she announced, taking a step forward._

 _"May I? Eddard asked._

 _"Of course, my lord," Catelyn replied, smiling._

 _Eddard took their son from her arms and held him gently._

 _"He's beautiful."_

 _"You're...you're not disappointed?" she asked hesitantly._

 _"Why would I be disappointed?" he asked frowning._

 _"That he doesn't look like you," Catelyn stated nervously._

 _Stepping closer to his wife, Eddard said, "It doesn't matter what he looks like to me. The most important thing is that he is healthy and strong."_

 _"Thank you," Catelyn said, feeling extremely relieved._

 _The moment was shattered with the cry of another babe not so far away._

 _"Who is that?" she asked curiously._

 _Guilt flashed across his face and Catelyn knew the truth at once, and a cold feeling settled in her stomach._

The argument that followed was one of the worst that they would ever have in fifteen years of marriage. Catelyn had left in tears and had wandered around for a few minutes before asking one of the servants to show her to her chambers.

It took several days for her to speak with him in private, and weeks before she allowed him in her bed. It didn't matter what she said or did, he would not give up Jon Snow.

Catelyn wasn't quite sure when Eddard had become Ned, but she was sure of when she realised that she had fallen in love with him.

 _"You would do that for me?" she asked, feeling shocked._

 _"Of course I would. You should not have to pray to small statues in your chambers," Ned replied._

 _Catelyn felt overwhelmed by his gesture and tears started pooling in her eyes._

 _"There is no need to cry, my lady," he said wiping away a tear which had escaped._

 _"I feel touched that you would do something like that for me," Catelyn said emotionally._

 _"I would do anything for you, Catelyn. You are my wife and you deserve to have a place to worship, and practice your faith."_

 _"Thank you, Ned."_

 _Catelyn pulled her cloak tighter around her neck. She wasn't cold - at least not from the weather - but the thought that Ned was riding off to war once again chilled the blood in her veins._

 _"I love you, Cat. Please try not to worry about me," he said, trying to reassure her._

 _"I love you, too, Ned, and I cannot help but worry for you. May the Gods keep you safe," Catelyn replied, trying to keep herself together._

 _Ned kissed her cheek goodbye and turned to mount his ride._

 _"I will see you again soon, my lady," he said, before leading the other lords out of the courtyard._

 _Many moons later the horns of Winterfell blew, heralding the return of its lord, and Catelyn struggled to walk as fast as she wanted to the courtyard. The swell of her stomach made it impossible to move quickly and by the time she arrived her husband had already dismounted._

 _"My lady, it is wonderful to see you looking so well," he said striding towards her and taking her hand to kiss it._

 _"Thank you, my lord. I am overjoyed at your return home," Catelyn stated, bursting with happiness._

 _Whilst walking towards the high table in the Great Hall, Catelyn felt a burst of pride and affection as she looked at her family._

 _Sansa and Arya were arguing with each other as usual (she was sure that she would have to reprimand Arya for something later), Ned held Rickon whilst explaining something to Bran, and Robb was walking down to one of the lower tables to speak to Jon Snow._

 _They weren't a perfect family, but they were her family, and that was all that mattered. Although she couldn't be happier Catelyn couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't going to last and that once the king came to Winterfell everything would change._

A few hours later, Catelyn woke to find the sky had started to darken.

She knew that a maid would be coming soon to announce that the evening meal was ready and that she would once again have to don the careful mask she had put together. With the war escalating and her son at the heart of it, there was no time to publicly grieve for her loss; that would have to be kept to the confines of her chambers.

Her mind lingered on thoughts of Ned once again. They had five beautiful children and she was determined to fight for their right to have happy and fulfilling lives once the Lannisters had been dealt with.

She would never love again and would remain a widow for the rest of her days. They may have only had a short time together, but their love would last a lifetime.


End file.
